Do you recall being upset or angry as a child and keeping your feelings to yourself?
Do you recall being afraid or worried as a child and keeping your thoughts to yourself?
Most children keep thoughts and feelings to themselves and draw their own conclusions about what’s happening to them, and around them, and why.
Earlier this week Nadiya Hussain, in ‘Anxiety and Me’, was asked by her therapist to focus on her breathing. As Nadiya focused on her breathing she started to feel ‘off’, anxiety kicked in, she felt panicky.
Therapists are normal people and have opinions about what creates anxiety, panic and so on. They look for what they consider to be significant incidents and assume it’s things like being bullied at school. Their clients tend to go along with this idea because it seems obvious.
The therapy session continued and the ‘source’ of Nadiya’s problem was attributed to bullying and having her head put down a toilet. The assumption was it’s hard to breathe in the toilet. Logical and true but it doesn’t necessarily follow that it’s the point of origin.
This assumptive, opinion based practice is why modern therapy fails so many people and it’s where my metaphysical skills come into their own.
If I was Nadiya’s therapist I’d be talking about the sibling she watched for months in hospital. His chest going up and down worrying that each breath might be the last. Not knowing if something really ‘bad’ was going to happen. Not talking to her mum and dad about her fear and distress because they were already dis-stressed enough. Bottling up fear and disabling herself in ways that fed the bullies later…
Most of my clients have been through conventional therapy before visiting me. They tell me they know the source of the problem and have spent weeks, months if not years talking about it.
My response is always the same: “if you’ve spent all that time talking about it and still have the problem it’s clearly not the source”.
When people recognise the ‘truth’ it has a profound and powerful impact on the self and mind that catalyses instantaneous change. By contrast, even the most well-intended and expensive bullshit, always baffles brains.